Deep 12: original, rejected version
Jay |
My main problem with the page is that it doesn't juxtapose the child and man to the extent that the page requires. In the final version, both characters are sleeping and holding a bottle, so the similarity is more clear. Other problems I had are that she's too old here (she's supposed to be a baby) and also I wanted more of a content, euphoric atmosphere than the depressing one here. And, lastly, the page didn't make sense to me, since the toddler's gloominess seemed to be attributed to the man's drinking problem, but it's something that a toddler wouldn't really understand. Anyways, I think the final version came out great. The problems were probably a result of me being too vague with the description and assuming too much that MIG's vision would be consistent with mine. Since then, though, I've become more comfortable and understanding of the interpretational writing aspect so hopefully I won't have any more rejected pages to show. |
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